The dangers of the Dating Game!

kids, people, relationship, work, borderline, feminine, self image, date, felt, eli, crap, masculine, childhood, pay, knew, energies, heal, divorce, workshop, questions

Eli discusses his recent feelings of detachment and the importance of healing childhood wounds to avoid repeating past relationship mistakes. He emphasizes the significance of embodiment and psychodrama shadow work in personal development. Eli plans to write a new chapter on dating and relationships, highlighting the need for individuals to address their unresolved issues to avoid projecting their pain onto others. He stresses the importance of self-awareness, particularly regarding parental relationships, and advocates for whole, healed individuals to form healthy relationships. Eli also mentions upcoming workshops and encourages volunteering to support vulnerable individuals.

Eli’s Week Reflections and Upcoming Workshops

• Eli shares his feelings of disconnection and detachment from reality during the past week, likening it to being in a video game.
• He mentions finishing 42 chapters of his book and starting on chapter 43, with plans to work on a cycle drama workshop.
• Eli invites volunteers to join workshops on October 6 and 13, emphasizing the importance of embodiment and psychodrama shadow work.
• He highlights the significance of embodying parts of oneself, rather than just thinking about them, and the impact it has on personal growth.

The Importance of Healing Childhood Wounds

• Eli discusses the importance of healing childhood wounds to avoid repeating past mistakes in relationships.
• He shares his personal experience of dating women who reminded him of his mother and the lessons learned from therapists.
• Eli emphasizes the need to ask potential partners about their healing work to avoid being affected by their unresolved issues.
• He introduces a two-step formula: healing one’s own wounds to have a clearer perspective and not projecting onto others.

Impact of Parental Relationships on Self-Image

• Eli explores the significance of relationships with parents, particularly fathers, on self-image and self-worth.
• He explains how a lack of attention from fathers can lead to self-esteem issues and unhealthy relationship choices.
• Eli shares his decision not to have children due to his commitment to helping parents and avoiding the responsibility of being an inattentive father.
• He stresses the importance of being whole and self-sufficient in relationships to avoid seeking validation from others.

The Role of Masculine and Feminine in Relationships

• Eli delves into the Carl Jungian concept of the masculine and feminine within individuals and their impact on relationships.
• He explains that many people seek external validation of these traits rather than developing them internally.
• Eli encourages individuals to become whole by developing both masculine and feminine aspects before seeking a partner.
• He emphasizes that a relationship between two whole individuals is more fulfilling than one where each partner is incomplete.

The Impact of Unhealthy Relationships on Children

• Eli discusses the negative effects of unhealthy relationships on children, using the example of a young lady he is working with who left a bad marriage.
• He highlights the importance of healing oneself for the sake of future generations.
• Eli encourages individuals to prioritize their own healing to avoid passing on unhealthy patterns to their children.
• He concludes by inviting volunteers to join the cycle drama workshops and emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and support in personal growth.

Hola, happy Saturday. Look at the tree of life going down. How you guys doing? Hopefully you had a good week. The energies were weird this week for me, I am not going to try to explain it, but I just felt off all week, like nothing was real. So I don’t know if you guys can relate to that. I know I’m looking at this camera that’s real of them, but it just felt like I was in a video game or something, and I was just watching. I wasn’t attached to it. And I know Buddha talks about the root of all suffering is attachment, so maybe that’s a healthy sign for us when we do that, but it just wow. Today, I’m feeling a little more grounded, but it still feels a little off. So the energies guys, they are a shift in right? So I finished 42 chapters, and I’m going to start 43 I’m off this coming week. I’m going to be working on the cycle drama, which, if you guys are interested in volunteering. The workshops are October 6 and 13th. So get there at 945 or reach out to me. Bring a snack. We got some really good vignettes. We’re going with some great people, and on both Sundays, we’re going to do another shadow psycho drama workshop for people. So if you want to check that out, it’s really powerful. I’m really excited about developing that, and I’m all about embodiment. You know, I wore a t shirt on Wednesday or Thursday. My sister long Jeannie made it for me. It says Eli the restorer, but under that, it says, Get embodied, because so often people are not in their bodies. They don’t like being in their bodies because there’s gunk in their body. So the psychodrama shadow work is about embodying those parts, not just in your head, thinking, why do I got this part? That part be it and that changes everything I believe, but the new chapter is going to be on dating and relationships. Eli has been counseling people for 44 plus years now, and boy, oh boy, the crap that I see. And I was guilty of this when I was younger. You know, the first 10 women I dated, I think, were my mom, not literally, but it felt like that. And I had somebody wake me up, one of my therapists. But here’s the issue that I see if you don’t heal your wounds from your childhood, and then you date somebody who hasn’t done it, good luck. The craps gonna flow. And if you end up with, you know, a white beater, a narcissist, a borderline. There’s something in you that was attracted to that. So that’s based on how you were raised, some unfinished, unhealed business that allowed you to fall into that trap of being with that person. And I’ve got a dear friend going through this now going through a divorce, but I’m pretty sure his partner is a borderline, and just It’s crazy, what’s going on. And I could go on and on with stories, but I don’t want to do that right now. When I was young and was dating a lot. I would go on that first date like a reporter. I would ask a lot of questions about your childhood subtly, not so subtly, and if there was some stuff, you know, sexual abuse, alcoholism, whatever it was, my second question was, well, tell me what kind of healing work you’ve done, because if they didn’t do any of their healing work, and I was working on mine at the time, but if you didn’t do any of yours, adios, because I knew this, and I see it all the time, now, you’re going to pay the price, because they’re going to be projecting all kinds of crap onto you. That isn’t fair. You’re going to pay for their childhood sins. So there’s a two step formula here that I’m going to write about. Heal your stuff from your childhood so your picker is more clear, less projecty. Won’t project as much, right? And then don’t be afraid to ask those questions, because if you’re naive enough to think that their pain, their suffering, their trauma, isn’t going to affect your relationship, I got nothing for you guys, you’re going to pay dearly. Does that make sense? And I see it all the time. Like I said this friend of mine going through this you. Divorce now I’m just like, my head explodes when I when I hear some of the stories or other people putting up with cheating and all kinds of stuff, one of the things that I look at a lot is our daddy issues. Okay, the father won’t because I think a big part of our self, image of ourself is based on a relationship with our dad mom. Our moms have a different function with that. But how you see yourself and that, you know, when mom shows up for events at school, let’s say, oh, mom’s here, but when dad shows up, daddy’s here, they get all excited. Kids to that, because we need we need their attention, and if you were shortchanged that, and a lot of times we are because they didn’t get it from their dads, and they and their grandparents and on and on it goes. But a lot of our self image is destroyed by the father not giving us the time and attention. You know, guys, why have kids if you’re not going to invest in them? Okay? Yeah, they’re fun to have around, but to me, that’s one hell of a job. That’s why I knew when I was young, I didn’t want to have kids, not that I couldn’t do it, but I knew I had bigger fish to fry, and I’m glad I honored that for all these years, and that I love kids. I adore him. I love playing with him, and that, but I knew I was here to help the parents. So once you go into a relationship blindly, no holds barred, anything’s going to happen if there’s crap, either your stuff or their stuff. So it’s a two fold thing. If that makes sense to you guys, hurt people. Hurt people. I see that posted a lot on Facebook, and that’s what’s going to happen. Healed people get their picker clear. Okay? They don’t have to date their dad or their mother, all right, because that wound is healed, you work on your self worth, your self image, yourself, self esteem, so you’re not out there looking to fill that hole in a relationship. And, you know, I’m really big about the masculine and feminine. This is very Carl Jungian, but it’s deeper than that. I mean, it’s, it’s a spiritual thing. If a person isn’t in touch with both essences, they’re masculine and feminine, and if they are not conscious of them, they go underground. And so so often I see men looking for their feminine, not inside, developing that becoming con they’re looking for on the outside. And then women looking for their masculine on the outside, not on the inside, develop yours first become as whole as you can. And you got a chance for a whole relationship that’s not a half a man and a half a woman connecting. It’s two whole people connecting. So chew on this. The chapter will be coming. Maybe I’m going to start working on a little bit today while watching some good football games. But I just here’s the other thing, the children I see, what happens to the kids? I’ve got a young lady I’m working with now that’s got a couple of kids, and thank God she got out of a really bad marriage, but the kids are paying the price for her choice of that father. That’s not fair to your kids, so just keeps rolling down the hill. So if you don’t want to do this for you, if you’re going to have children, do it for your future, kids help them by helping yourself. Alright, enjoy your day. Like I said, if you want to come and join us for the cycle drama next Sunday and on the 13th, let me know we always appreciate volunteers, and it’s a way to support the brave souls that are willing to get on that platform and expose themselves to be that vulnerable, because, you know, Eli, he’s all about being vulnerable. What? What do we got to lose? Let’s jump out of that plane. All right. God bless you guys. Love you. You.