Let’s release our Inner Child from jail!

inner child, childhood wounds, setting boundaries, adult children, subpersonalities, psycho drama, healing modality, parts party, inner child energy, authentic self, emotional release, vulnerability, adult behavior, subconscious mind, personal growth

Eli discusses the importance of healing childhood wounds to avoid repeating toxic relationship patterns into adulthood. He explains that unhealed childhood experiences can lead to adults tolerating poor behavior and setting unhealthy boundaries. Eli emphasizes the need to protect and integrate the inner child, which is essential for maintaining a playful and authentic adult life. He references Internal Family Systems Therapy and psychodrama as effective methods for addressing these issues. Eli encourages vulnerability and emotional work to reclaim one’s voice and live authentically, criticizing a world filled with inauthentic people.

Understanding the Impact of Unhealed Childhood Wounds

• Eli introduces the topic of Chapter 43, focusing on the dangers of dating without healing childhood wounds.
• He reads a paragraph discussing how childhood experiences shape adult behaviors, particularly in relationships.
• Eli emphasizes that tolerating poor behavior in adulthood is often rooted in past mistreatment.
• He highlights the importance of setting boundaries and expressing anger to avoid repeating childhood patterns.

The Role of the Inner Child in Adult Behavior

• Eli explains that many adults act like “adult children” due to unhealed childhood wounds.
• He discusses how unhealed wounds lead to tolerating disrespect and abusive behaviors.
• Eli shares his personal experience with healing work and psycho drama, which helped him protect his inner child.
• He mentions that adults who haven’t healed often lose their playful and fun-loving nature.

Subpersonalities and Their Protective Roles

• Eli talks about subpersonalities created to protect the inner child from pain.
• He explains that these subpersonalities can lead to one-dimensional lives if not healed.
• Eli shares his training in internal family systems therapy, which helped him understand these dynamics.
• He emphasizes the need to find a healing modality to release the inner child’s pain in a safe environment.

The Concept of a “Parts Party” in Psychodrama

• Eli introduces the concept of a “parts party” in psychodrama to become aware of these subpersonalities.
• He explains that the goal is to deal with and release the pain and memories held by the inner child.
• Eli expresses his love for having his inner child, “little Tom,” in his life.
• He highlights the importance of the inner child’s energy in being playful, fun, and loving.

The Importance of Authenticity and Vulnerability

• Eli discusses the challenges of living authentically without healing childhood wounds.
• He mentions a conversation with a woman interested in volunteering for psychodrama, who is terrified at the beginning.
• Eli emphasizes the need to feel and release emotions to become an authentic, vulnerable human being.
• He shares his experience of letting himself feel emotions without going berserk.

The Battle Between the Self and Subpersonalities

• Eli compares the self to the president and subpersonalities to the cabinet, emphasizing that the self should be in charge.
• He shares an example of how he uses his people pleaser part strategically.
• Eli stresses the importance of getting in touch with the self to live authentically.
• He expresses his frustration with fake people and the need for authentic human beings in the world.

Encouraging Healing and Vulnerability

• Eli encourages listeners to spread the word about the importance of healing and vulnerability.
• He emphasizes that healing work is necessary to get the voice back that was lost as a child.
• Eli expresses amazement at how many clients struggle to set boundaries and act like adults.
• He concludes by wishing everyone a good weekend and encouraging them to get in touch with their authentic selves.

Hola, happy Thursday, how are you guys look at Bluebeards growing in nicely, still not sure if I’m cutting it or not. So I’m working on Chapter 43 and it’s about dating, the dangers of dating when we’re not healed, and how that will lead us into unhealed relationships and then having kids and then passing the family curse on on a goes. But I wanted to share one of the paragraphs that I wrote yesterday with you guys, just to give you an idea of what are the dynamics of what we’re struggling with if we don’t heal our childhood wounds. So let me read it, then we’ll talk about it. We learn what we believe is normal by what we witness or go through as children. I call this the program, which resides in our subconscious mind, tolerating poor behavior from a partner is usually rooted in our past. If we are treated badly as children, we will tolerate it as adults, unless we learn to express our dislike and learn to set boundaries. It saddens me when my adult clients say they cannot set limits or express their anger when mistreated in many ways, they are still acting like they did when they were children. Many adults are adult children because of their unhealed childhood wounds. They put up with disrespect for abusive behaviors because they learned to tolerate it as children, if someone is not respecting you and you stay quiet, ask yourself if you’re acting as you did as a child. This will start the process of becoming aware of the connection between how you were raised and how you react now this awareness will enable you to connect the dots and hopefully realize that you’ve got some healing work to do. Having done my healing work and doing psycho drama for seven years enabled me to become, become a full fledged adult who’s able to protect his inner child, otherwise, the inner child’s energy will never be available to us as adults. I know many adults who have lost their connection to this energy and are no longer playful and fun loving. If our inner child knows we can protect them, they feel safe to be present in our lives. If not, we unconsciously create some personalities to keep to keep them safe. An example of this is when our people pleaser part takes over to protect us from confrontations or being abandoned if we don’t heal our childhood wounds. These sub personalities begin to run our lives, and sometimes they’re running into the ground because they are so one dimensional. When I was trained in internal family systems therapy by Richard Schwartz, I became aware of this subconscious dynamic. These parts are ultimately created to protect us from feeling the inner child’s pain. They will do anything to keep it buried deep inside. Keeping it repressed is one solution, but in in the end, we pay a huge price of not having this beautiful energy available in our lives. So what is the solution to find a healing modality, to release the inner child’s pain in a safe environment. Now let that resonate with you. Let it marinate in there with Dick Schwartz’s work, internal family systems therapy, what he what he taught us, is your parts are developed to protect you from feeling the pain of your inner child that’s in your psyche, and so to protect you from feeling that or to go through any more trauma, all these different parts are developed, usually in our childhood, victim, part people pleaser, part comforter, part savior, part denial, part hopeful part. And on and on they go, but the real goal is to protect the self from feeling the pain from the past. So how do we do this? Well, we do a we do a thing called a parts party in psychodrama, where people become aware of these parts and what they’re protecting them from. Ultimately, the deep work in cycle drama is to go back into the past and deal and release, deal with and release the pain and the memories that that poor inner child is holding. I love having little Tom in my life. He knows I kick butt. I protect him. I have that beautiful energy inside of me because the inner child energy is playful, fun, loving. Being energizing, creative, you know, just like a child. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m acting like a kid, but that’s included in this energy field. When you don’t have it, you grow old early. I know so many adults that they’ve lost their inner child, and they’re not playful or fun loving. You know, it’s, it’s, it’s kind of hard to be around people like that for me, because little town wants to get out and play with the other kids. But if you don’t get in there and deal with the mud work, the deep work, guys and gals, you’re never going to have access to that. And then your sub personalities will continue to drive your life bus usually into the wall. Does that make sense? I don’t know why people aren’t as aware of this as they should be now, obviously I’ve been training in stuff for 40 plus years, but I just wish more people could understand the beauty of being in touch with your authentic self that’s not being controlled by all these damn parts that we create now as children, that was a good job. We created them. We survived. You know, good job. Mickey came to save us, right? But after a while, you’re not living authentically. It’s hard to be vulnerable. It’s hard to be real. You’re just like living from your head up. You’re not embodied anymore, because it’s hard to do this healing work. I talked to a lady today on the phone that’s interested in coming to volunteer at the next cycle drama, and she’s terrified. Of course, I know I was at the beginning, but the more you dig in and have different outcomes. First you got to feel it, then you got to release it, then you got to act the way you wish you could have acted when you were a child. Stand up for yourself, set your boundaries, you know, beat people if you have to metaphorically, you know, get out of here. Quit talking to me like that. You know, the bullies at school. How many people just swallow that as kids, because we don’t know how to defend ourselves. So if you don’t, if you really want to become a real, authentic, vulnerable human being, you need your inner child available with you, because of not that battle goes on. I call it the army of parts that are protecting you from your memories or your feelings. And you know, what are feelings? It’s just chemicals. You know, when I feel stuff, I just let myself feel it. I don’t go berserk, crazy or anything like that. I just let myself feel it. But because my parts aren’t protecting me from that anymore, because they trust me. They know I’m in charge of my life. You know, my example to this is the self inside of us should be the president and your parts or your cabinet, but they submit to the self. So like my people pleaser will come out if I’m getting a speeding ticket, I’ll please the heck that police officer, but But when it’s over, get back into the bus. I’m driving the bus. So think about what I shared with you today. This chapter is so inspiring for me. It’s blowing me away. And I’ve been so blessed with so much wisdom from all these teachers, including Richard Schwartz, who was one of my favorites, because he was so authentic. He understood all this. Gotta get in touch with the self, otherwise you’re not being who you’re meant to be here. And you know, look at the world we live in. I’m tired of dealing with these fake people. The world needs honest, authentic human beings. But the problem is, nobody wants to go do the mug work. And there’s other modalities besides psycho drama. But this one is my favorite, because I’m a little biased. I did it for seven years, and when I came out of that, the changes were just amazing. So Alright, listen, enjoy our weekend, and get the word out there. Spread the word, let your friends know there’s hope for all of us, but you gotta be willing to get vulnerable, and you gotta be willing to feel that stuff, because then you can get your voice back that you lost as a child. Okay, I am amazed at how many clients don’t know how to set boundaries, and that’s why I call them adult children, because they’re like kids. They’re so acting like kids in their life. We’re not kids anymore. All right. God bless you guys. Love you.