Practicing being vulnerability for more peace

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Eli discusses the importance of vulnerability in achieving a peaceful life, referencing Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability as risk, uncertainty, and emotional exposure. He argues that while vulnerability may seem scary, it actually requires strength and is essential for living an authentic, compassionate life. Eli emphasizes that control is an illusion and that embracing vulnerability and surrendering to life’s events can lead to a more Zen and peaceful existence. He shares personal anecdotes, including his experience with skin cancer and the teachings of Rabbi Joel, to illustrate the benefits of vulnerability and surrender. Eli encourages daily practice of vulnerability to train the body and mind to accept uncertainty and find peace.

Practicing Vulnerability for a Peaceful Life

• Eli begins by discussing the importance of vulnerability in achieving a peaceful life, introducing the concept of practicing vulnerability.
• He highlights that many people associate vulnerability with weakness but emphasizes that it requires significant strength to be vulnerable.
• Eli references Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability as risk, uncertainty, and emotional exposure, and he connects vulnerability with courage.
• He shares a personal anecdote about skydiving to illustrate the concept of facing waves of reality and the importance of vulnerability.

Resistance to Vulnerability

• Eli explores why people resist vulnerability, suggesting that the primary reason is the belief in control, which is an illusion.
• He mentions various life events that demonstrate the lack of control, such as job loss, illness, and unexpected changes in relationships.
• Eli emphasizes that practicing vulnerability daily can lead to a more peaceful and authentic life, as advocated by Brene Brown’s mantra of having a strong back, soft front, wild heart.
• He reflects on his experience as a therapist, noting that many people resist taking risks and being vulnerable.

The Benefits of Vulnerability

• Eli shares his personal experience of living in the arena of vulnerability, describing it as more fun, peaceful, and relaxing.
• He contrasts the choice between surrendering to life’s events or fighting them, arguing that fighting leads to stress and anxiety.
• Eli discusses his belief in a higher power guiding the universe, drawing from his studies in Kabbalah and Judaism.
• He encourages practicing vulnerability daily by doing things outside of one’s comfort zone, such as saying or wearing something different.

Training the Body to Embrace Vulnerability

• Eli explains that the body craves control and safety, often rebelling against uncomfortable situations.
• He references Joe Dispenza’s work on training the body to accept new experiences, using the metaphor of a dog walking a man to illustrate the body’s desire for familiarity.
• Eli argues that surrendering to the wisdom of the universe is better than trying to control everything, citing Michael Singer’s “The Surrender Experiment.”
• He emphasizes the correlation between vulnerability, surrender, and courage, and how they all play a role in living an authentic life.

Choosing Your Path

• Eli references Brene Brown’s video “A Call to Courage” on Netflix, where she describes two types of people: those getting bloody and muddy and having a blast, and those in the bleachers playing it safe.
• He shares his own journey of realizing that he couldn’t control everything and choosing to embrace vulnerability and surrender.
• Eli encourages listeners to practice vulnerability and surrender to find more peace and serenity in their lives.
• He concludes by reminding listeners not to argue with reality and to enjoy the present moment, wishing them a wonderful weekend.

Hola happy Friday’s day. Look at how beautiful it is here in Northwest Indiana, summer is lingering, and we’re all grateful for that little warm but that’s okay. So I finished chapter 41 and I want to share the first paragraph and flesh it out for you guys a little bit, it’s an interesting topic that I run into constantly with us humans where we don’t want to be vulnerable, so that the title of the chapter is practicing vulnerability is the key to a peaceful life. What? So let me read this. Being vulnerable is very scary for many of us, but it does create more peace in our lives. This almost seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Many associate being vulnerable with weakness, but it takes much strength to let down our guard. And Brene Brown’s video on Netflix called a call to courage, which I highly recommend watching. She defines vulnerability as risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure. Did you notice the word courage in the title? I believe courage and vulnerability go hand in hand, because it exposes us to many waves of reality. When I jumped out of a plane at 13,000 feet, I made myself vulnerable to one of those waves. We are exposed to these waves every day of our lives. So why do we resist it so much? Think about that one primary reason is because we believe we have no control. When we give up control, our egoic mind is not a fan of being out of control. You know what I’m talking about. It lives under the delusion that we can control everything that can happen. I think we’d all agree that it that is not what happens in our daily lives. We lose a job or a loved one unexpectedly, or a relationship and suddenly, or the weather shifts without warning, or get a terminal illness diagnosis. So where is the control? When these things happen, it disappeared just like that, because it is an illusion we have been programmed to believe in it. Practicing vulnerability daily is another option we can choose. We can choose to live with risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure, like Renee talks about in her writings, one of her mantras is to have a strong back, soft front, wild heart. She is referring to an integrous life filled with compassion and vulnerability and living with a sense of adventure and authenticity. This formula will fill us with a sense of peace, because we learn to let life unfold naturally without trying to control it. And I believe it will lead us to surrender to something greater than us, minus all the worry, the stress and the anger. What I wrote this chapter, I took my time because I really wanted to nail it home, being in the therapist chair for 44 plus years now, I hear it all the time. I don’t want to take risks. I don’t want to be vulnerable. Well, guys and gals, we’re vulnerable here all the time. You know, look at those things that can happen, a job, loss of cancer, you know, cancer, terminal diagnosis. But what I’ve learned living in the arena of vulnerability is it’s more fun, it’s more peaceful and it’s more relaxing. I’m not out playing whack a mo all the time. What’s going to be is going to be, I have one or two choices. I can surrender to it, or I can fight it. And we all know what happens. When you fight it, you go crazy. My sugar, right? You get out of sorts. But if you just let it happen now, I’m not Pollyanna sitting here. I’m a realist. Okay, it’s not always easy to stay vulnerable. I don’t always like the curveballs that come in my life. I know you don’t either, but for whatever reason, the person running this reality needs us to go through this to get the the pieces back lined up again, because I truly believe. I call it my big name is a creator, but I call it the planner. There’s something in this universe that’s guiding everything. And you know, that’s what I learned in Kabbalah and Judaism, that the spiritual realm is controlling the physical. It’s not the other way around. It, and most of us think it is. So whatever the spiritual realm needs, it’s going to get so you can fight it, or you can say, Thy will be done. And I’ll tell you, since I’ve been practicing this more and more, especially the last 20 plus years, my life has become a lot more Zen and peaceful. Yeah, you get curveballs. I, you know, when I got my skin cancer diagnosed the first time, it was like, what? But what can I do? Okay, cut my skin off. You know, skin me the line like a fish, or I can use it for growth, and that’s what I chose to do. That’s my, one of my best teachers in a long time. You know Rabbi Joel. God bless him. He’s He’s been dead three years this month, and I still grieve that daily. I miss that son of a gun. He would always talk about, let go and let God, like they say in AA, our problem is, what is God? Okay, so I don’t like to use that word. I just call it the Creator, or Hashem, that’s the Jewish name, the name and that because we don’t want to be vulnerable, we don’t want to feel out of control. We think we’re in charge of any everything. And you guys know that’s not true. You know, look what happens in the world. Okay, different things, like our former president said they’re eating dogs and cats in Springfield and other cities. And laugh at that. That’s a joke, right, right, right? But anything could happen to our pets. Anything can happen to us. As I’m sitting here right now, somebody could walk up, say a disgruntled neighbor, and blow my brains out. I didn’t see that coming. No, nobody’s there, thank God. So what I recommend in this chapter is don’t go from A to Z practice being vulnerable daily, say something you wouldn’t normally say, wear something you don’t normally wear, do something you don’t normally do, and get used to that. See the body. We have to train it because it’s part of this control network. It wants control. It wants safety, and we all do Okay, so let’s not knock the body, but it’s obsessive. It’s OCD. It wants it too much. So every time you go do something uncomfortable, your body’s going to rebel for a while, and that’s what I learned from Joe Dispenza, wonderful work. But eventually it’s going to realize I’m driving the bus. You’re not okay. That’s how you get off that chain that it showed one of the videos, the dog walking the man, the dog is a metaphor for the body, because the body likes what it likes. But is it better to try to control everything, even though you can’t, you know, you have the illusion you’re doing that, or is it better to surrender to the wisdom of the universe, like Michael singer says in this surrender experiment, that’s why, further in this chapter, I said there’s a correlation between vulnerability and surrender and courage. All three are at play there. You know, Brene in that wonderful video, a call to courage on Netflix, says there’s two types of people in the world, the ones getting bloody and muddy but having a blast, and the ones in the bleachers judging and playing it safe. At some point, you have to choose your path this way or this way. And you know, when I was younger, I was under the delusion I could control things. Well, life washed over me. Woke me up several times. It’s like, I don’t control anything. Here we have the illusion, you know, what’s going on. And I finally said, Screw it. I’m not going to play that game. I woke up early, and I want you guys to wake up too. And again, you don’t have to believe me, practice it for a while and see if you notice long term more peace, more serenity in your life, because it’s going to be the way it’s going to be. You know that sayings, don’t argue with reality, because it hurts. And I know I fought with reality at times. Okay, it hurts, but when you just let it be. And again, I don’t always understand the shit I’ve gone through, the stuff you’re gonna go through. You know, when my clients come in, I sit there, I’ve got nothing for you. But eventually it gets clearer and clearer, if you stick with it. Remember, we’re all on a chessboard. Here we have the illusion we’re moving ourselves. We’re being moved. We’re little avatars and somebody else’s game. Alright, listen, enjoy your weekend. Hopefully, if you’re Northwest Indiana, it’s wonderful. Get out. Enjoy the summer weather while it lasts. And I will be doing another video real soon on another hot topic. Topic, maybe more on this. God bless you guys. I.