The Eli Effect Podcast #7

Eli Effect, childhood, trauma, healing, avoidance, soul print, identical twins, therapy, empowerment, purpose.

In this talk, Eli explores how our childhood experiences and traumas directly shape our future purpose and abilities, illustrating that the end of our journey is deeply rooted in its beginning. By actively engaging in healing work rather than avoiding past pain, individuals can uncover the hidden gifts and strengths forged in their early environments. Ultimately, discovering and living out one’s unique “soul print” empowers a person to transform early adversity into profound personal growth and positive global impact.

Overcoming Childhood Trauma

• Doing the hard work of healing transforms early curses into blessings, as avoiding past pain allows it to control you.
• Confronting difficult situations, rather than avoiding them, builds pride and prevents stunted personal growth.
• Acknowledging the painful “backside” of your upbringing is required before you can discover its positive “front side”.

Curiosity and Early Rebellion

• Eli and his identical twin brother, Tim, engaged in highly curious and mischievous childhood acts, such as driving a milk truck at age four and experimenting with chemicals.
• Taking childhood leaps of faith, like jumping off roofs into snow, translated into adult fearlessness for activities like skydiving.
• Fighting against being separated from his brother in the fourth grade forged Eli into a lifelong advocate for what he believes in.

Developing Survival Skills

• Sibling rivalry and physical confrontations with his twin taught Eli to defend himself, allowing him to confidently confront future bullies, bosses, and even his own father.
• Surviving a toxic home environment required Eli to develop a strong sense of awareness to read rooms and ensure his safety, an ability that now heavily aids his therapy practice.
• Navigating a lack of reliable adult protection forced both brothers to become highly independent and self-sufficient from a young age.

Discovering Your Soul Print

• Finding one’s “soul print” or life purpose is crucial, as avoiding this personal mission stalls the evolution of the human race.
• Following an inner knowing, even if it means weathering judgment for dropping out of college, ensures you only move forward when truly ready and mature.
• Every childhood experience, including being forced to attend a Catholic grade school, can provide invaluable gifts and preparation for your unique future path.

Hola! The Eli Effect podcast is ready to start. So, I’m still continuing with Chapter 3, how the end is rooted in the beginning. And I’ve talked about this in the other two podcasts. So, what happens to us growing up can be a blessing or a curse. Now, the trick to the whole thing is, if you don’t do your healing work, it stays a curse. It controls you. And I had a wonderful appointment with a lady this morning, and she’s been working her tail off for about two and a half years with me. Done breath work, did a few psychodramas. And she told me of two situations recently, where in the past, she would have either avoided, not dealt with it well, would have shut down. And because of the work she’s doing on herself, she was able to face both situations, deal with it, feel it. And it just makes me smile inside when I hear these stories, because she’s really coming out of it, her upbringing, you know, breaking the ties to everything. So, today, we’re going to talk a little bit about how certain situations and opportunities came up growing up that helped me develop what I needed to, to do the journey I did. Tim and I, when we were young, they called us very mischievous. Now, today, I see it as curiosity. Tim and I were very curious. What one didn’t think of, the other one would. So, a couple of things that we did because of our curiosity, these will sound weird. When we were three years old, allegedly, I can’t remember this, but I believe my parents, we were drawing in our bedroom walls with our poop to see what it looked like. Now, who the heck does that? And then, when we were four, my grandpa had a milk truck. Tim and I went out and figured out how to start it, and we were driving his milk truck at the age of four. Around the age of ten, we became little chemists, and we were mixing all these different chemicals into this container. And then, one of us got the brilliant idea to drop a match inside. And I think it was Tim that did that, and he was so close, his face got burned. But thankfully, it wasn’t third-degree. It was able to heal in that. And another thing that helped me skydive is when we were younger, there’d be snow piles, so we’d climb up on a garage or a second story and jump down onto the snow. Well, growing up, I could see where that taking that leap of faith has come in handy, especially in skydiving. In the fourth grade, they tried to separate Tim and I, and we were really close. And I was having nothing to do with that. So, to get me to the fourth grade class, they would have to drag me up the stairs. Well, that lasted for about two minutes. They didn’t want to keep doing that. So, after a short time, they let us be in the same class together for fourth grade, and then it shifted again in fifth grade. It was better. But as I look back at that experience like that helped me become a rebel or a fighter fighting for what I believed in. And I’ve been able to do that my entire 75 years. My childhood experiences can either make us feel fearful or fearless. And thankfully, mine taught me to be very fearless. Not that I don’t feel the fear. I do. But I don’t let it control me and neither should you. Situations that we encounter growing up will develop behaviors for our journeys like me, you know, standing up for myself, not wanting to be separated from my brother. So, for me, Tim and I were put in a boxing match in grade school because we were so identical. So, in the boxing match, first round, Tim was there. Second round, I was there. Third round, the other one. And then at the end, we were both brought out to be in the fight with this person. We were fighting. And it was a joke type of thing. But people got a kick out of that. So, that at that early age, me teaching people and then doing videos helped to reduce the shyness and the self-consciousness that I had as a kid by putting myself out there. Avoiding situations or opportunity will only stunt our growth or limit rewards. You know, if I would have avoided moving to Colorado at 52, I would have never met my rabbi. My rabbi, Rabbi Joel, who changed my entire life and many people’s lives. So, we’ve got to quit avoiding things. To me, that’s the biggest problem I see with humanity. Avoidance. You know, just go face it. You know, like the lady I was working with today, the two situations were really heavy. I can’t talk to you about it. But she didn’t avoid it. She went and faced them both. And she’s glad she did. And she felt like rocky on those stairs, like feeling proud of herself. So, avoiding things will stunt your growth and limit rewards or opportunities for future things in your life that you don’t even know can come. You know, go do this and who knows what will show up. What I talk about in this chapter in the book is so many of us are not figuring out our soul print, our soul essence, our purpose. And consequently, the world is full of people that are not figuring out our soul print. full of people who are not doing their job here, whatever your job is, soul print wise or purpose, okay, if everybody woke up every day and they knew what they were drawn to do, I know I’m here to do this, imagine what the world could look like, but because so many missions are not completed, we’re struggling here, we’re not evolving it as a race, because people are just avoiding what they need to do, or thinking let somebody else do it, no, no, no, no, no, if, and that’s what I’m hoping my book and books like Soul Prints, or there’s another one by Eckhart Tolle about discovering your soul purpose in that, books like that can help people get motivated to say, you know, there’s a quote that I’ve read, it says, discovering and living your soul purpose affects all of humanity, chew on that, so another beautiful thing that came from my end is rooted in the beginning is my sibling rivalry with Tim, we’re identical twins, we’re the same size, so we got into some confrontations, some physical stuff sometimes, it taught us to defend ourselves, stand up for ourselves, well later, now on my journey, and I talk about it in the book, there was a kid in my grade school that was a bully, well, he started bullying me in high school, and we had a go around, and he didn’t like the end to that, also I had a boss on the railroad that was bullying me, and he didn’t like what I did to him, or how I confronted him, I met a priest when I was 23 who was hitting on me, I was toying with being a priest back then, I know it’s weird, and he didn’t like how that ended, and even my dad, when I was 16, I confronted the hell out of him for being mean to my mom, and I think it scared him, because he quit doing that, because he was afraid of me, all of those experiences with my boss, the priest, helped me become more and more and more empowered, avoiding it would have created no empowerment whatsoever, similarly, when I was in college as an 18 year old, I went there to study something, electrical engineering, or something weird like that, because a friend was doing that, well, after two weeks, I’m like, I’m out of here, you know, this makes no sense to me, so I went and delivered mail for four and a half years, the point of saying that is, because of these experiences growing up, when I dropped out, I was able to wither the heat from my parents, my relatives, my friends, what are you doing dropping out, because I knew, I knew deep inside, I wasn’t ready, I had to grow up, I had to go do some things, because when I went back to college at 23, I was soaring like a rocket ship, but I was ready then, I was more mature, but because of the upbringing and the crap I went through, I was able to honor that knowing, I don’t want to be here right now, so that helped me face, you know, judgment, let’s call it judgment, a lot of people avoid that. Growing up in the environment I did with my parents and some of my goofy relatives made me curious, kind of woke the therapist up inside, why do they act this way, why do they say things, etc, etc. So basically, my upbringing in my home life birthed the therapist in me, it was in there, but without that environment, I don’t know if it would have been birthed or would have came out as nicely as it did. And I tell people this, my first patient was my mother, okay, she was very codependent, needy, and that lovely woman, caring, kind, very generous, and she and I would sit there for, you know, we go to breakfast and that, and I was already in college doing this, and I would talk to her about why she stays with dad and puts up with stuff and why she acts the way she did. Little did I know she was going to be my first patient, and she got it all for free, right? The other gift of being raised in a very toxic home environment is I’m really good at reading people and reading rooms, okay, the spidey sense thing, figuring things out. Now, as a child, I had to learn to do that to survive to see if I was safe, if dad was drunk, what the hell was going to happen. But moving forward, I found the front side to that. I can walk into a room and pick up stuff, or like, say, a new client. I had a new client yesterday, and I was really picking up stuff with her, what things she wasn’t even saying. I just know things, because those spidey senses, that awareness really helps me move on with that stuff. Another thing they tried, and I didn’t like it at the time, when we went to graduated grade school, my parents wanted us to go to this Catholic grade school called Bishop Dole, and of course, all our friends were going to the public high school, and I wanted to go there, and Tim, so somehow, my parents talked us into doing it for two years, and then we ended up going to the other one. But as I look back, I’m so glad my parents forced us to do that and go to the Catholic grade school, because it really taught me how to study, how to do homework, write papers, and that. Little did I know, eight years later, all that stuff would come in handy when I finally went back to college. So, you look at things from your childhood, like something that simple, going to this high school, the gifts that come out of that. There’s always gifts, guys and gals, if you know how to find them. But you’ve got to deal with the backside first, okay? If there was pain, trauma, that, you have to go heal that, and then you can go in and find the front side. Being as independent and self-sufficient as I am, most of that was spawned in my home environment, because I didn’t have people I could really rely on, except for my brother, of course. We relied on one another. But we were both fighting for our lives, okay? So, it’s like, you know, I was fighting over here, Tim’s fighting over there, but we really, like, I couldn’t rely on him, because we were the same age. I had no adults there protecting me. So, Tim and I became very independent, and we’re still that way at our age. So, I hope this helps you understand a little bit about the end is rooted in the beginning, because what we went through growing up, I don’t want to say it was orchestrated, but it was exactly sometimes what we needed once we start figuring out what we’re here to do, and you find the front side to that, like me, you know, not avoiding things, or standing up for myself, or fighting for what I believe in, like that fourth grade me, you know, dragging them up the stairs in that. So, I can look at these things and say, that was crazy, and it was, but then I think bigger picture, what did I get out of that? What grew in me? What did that spawn? And if you can start looking at your upbringing, and again, there’s a lot of crap. I’m not saying it was all, you know, fairies and all stuff like that. No, it was horrible, some of the stuff we went through, some of the stuff I went through. But don’t stop there. See if you can do some digging to find the gifts that came out of that, like I’ve done. And I hope this helps you look at things with a different pair of glasses on, because there’s always a front side to everything. But you got to admit, own, feel, and deal with the backside stuff, and then you move forward. But as I look back at all those years, I’m going to sit here and tell you, I don’t think I would have changed the thing, because I love where I ended up. I love how that all helped me. So what would I change? Okay. And that’s the thing about, you know, the ripple effect, the butterfly effect, and things like that. If you were to put me in a totally different family situation without an identical twin, I’d have had a totally different life, I’m sure. Okay. Who knows where things would have gone. So the end today is rooted in the beginning, and I use that to talk about her childhood homes. So when you look at it, you can see the front side or the backside. I recommend finding the front side, never the backside. Go heal it, but don’t stay there. You know, like this lady today, the client that I saw, normally she would be afraid to confront people or go face situations that made her uncomfortable. That was from her childhood. We’ve identified that, but because of the growth and how she believes in herself now, she’s willing to put herself in those situations and feel better about herself instead of being a weenie at home and avoiding situations or acting the way she had done in the past, like a little brat. All right. So one more podcast on this chapter will be coming. I’m going to talk about, you have two names. We’ll get into that a little bit and tell you how you, maybe you can figure that out and then we’ll be moving on to the next chapter okay god bless you